But I think what people are referring to when they ask this question, are the “how to behave at school” skills. How to be quiet, sit still, listen to the teacher and do what you’re told.

I believe this skill is not learned. It’s inherent. Kids either have an easy time doing this, or they don’t. Years and years of practice don’t increase this skill. Maturity and a good relationship with the teacher can indeed affect this. But the only way for someone who is not naturally akin to sitting still at a desk to learn how to do that, is by something breaking them. And that is NOT how I want my kids to learn how to sit at a desk and be quiet.

If and when my kids need to be in a job or a class that requires this kind of “school” behavior, they will do it because it will be necessary in order to acheive their goals. Not because they are being told that if they don’t, they’ll be sent to the principle’s office, or given a check on the board. They will sit still and be quiet because they will want to learn what the teacher has to teach. If they don’t want to learn that, they won’t be there in the first place.

Learning to sit at a desk = learning to stand in line = learning to raise your hand to get permission to go to the bathroom.