Most every family that celebrates Christmas has its own Christmas traditions. This year Emma has been letting one of ours out of the bag. For a long time now, she has been introducing herself to people. Once she was the size that she looked like she would be in kindergarten, it usually boiled down to:
“My name is Emma. I’m {age}. I’m homeschooled. Mommy’s my teacher.”
It took a while before it occurred to me that she was answering the questions most adults who didn’t know her, asked her if they conversed with her. For the last month or so she has been adding the following to her introduction:
“My Daddy is my Santa.”
I would say the majority of adults she’s said that to don’t know how to respond. I’ve had a few looks which suggested that I had commited a severe injustice. Others, though, have been a little more understanding. One lady after having a bit of time to absorb it did say, “I suppose, that’s the best sort of Santa to have.” This week, while out grocery shopping she added, to one lady:
“Maybe my Daddy will bring you presents, too.”
Over the years, I’ve run into adults who remember Christmas primarily from when they were a child. And, it seems to an extent, that Christmas as an adult brought them little joy or happiness. I’m not that way. I said to Andrea tonight, “This is the best Christmas ever.” She promptly replied, “You say that every year.” And she’s right. I do say that every year and I’m not making it up. On Christmas morning, I’ll be in a room full of people whose whose main goal there is to make every other person in the room happy. In my experience, that doesn’t happen very often.
While sitting here thinking of what to talk about next, I realized that over the years we have parted from what I perceive the traditional Christmas to be quite alot. For example, starting at age 2, I would take the children out and let them pick out gifts for the rest of the family. One year that turned into Andrea opening a wrapped box that contained a can of peas. I fear, that for many children in our society, they have become the object of Christmas. Christmas is a product that gets delivered to them and their role in it all is limited to Christmas morning. If that was their childhood Christmas, it is no wonder that being the person who creates the product sees no joy in it.
For my children, Christmas has been a process. I can guarantee you that all of the older children have spent far more time in the last year thinking about what they were going to give everyone else than they did thinking about what they might get.
But, I really haven’t told you the story behind what Emma has been telling people recently. Before her third Christmas, I asked the older three if they wanted us to teach her about Santa. They unanimously said no. And we haven’t. At the time I also proposed an alternative way of having stockings filled for Christmas morning. So, we largely left it to Emma to draw her own conclusions. The irony that came along 2 years ago was that Emma asked me to get a Santa suit and be Santa.
When it got close to Christmas, Andrea and I picked up a Santa suit. On Christmas Eve, I went upstairs and got suited up, went into the attic. I then closed the door loudly and stomped my way down stairs. I had a gift for each person to open in my sack, plus I got Emma to help me put a gift in each stocking. Then I went back upstairs and took off the suit. Throughout the whole thing Emma called me Santa and corrected someone who mistakenly called me Dad. But the glint in her eye and the smile on her face betrayed that she knew she was taking part in pretense. When I came back down stairs as me, she excitedly told me the whole story of Santa being there.
This year, she has already asked me to do it again. And, of course, I will.
We hope you have a truly Merry Christmas (Ho Ho Ho).
That’s great. And your reason for every Christmas being a good Christmas is all too rare. I think too many people spend time in rooms with people they think they OUGHT to spend the holiday with even though they are badly behaved, lacking in thoughtfulness (I just read Mother Crone’s post about thoughtless Christmas gifts), and not trying very hard to make everyone happy. You are lucky but you also make your own luck.
And it is so great to watch our kids thoughtfully prepare gifts for people. Tigger made presents for people and thought very carefully about what they might like. Your post made me realize even more the value of this.
Best wishes to all of you from all of us.
This is the second year we have taken the kids to a discount store and let them shop for each other, for Grandmama and Papa, and for Kevin and I. The gifts aren’t much, since they are not yet at an age to earn their own money, but I love watching the thoughtfulness as they pick out just the right candle for Grandmama and some new work gloves for Papa. And even though I get impatient at how much time it takes, the joy they get in watching someone open gifts from them is worth it every time. I know they are learning that Christmas is about giving, not getting.
I’m glad you’re home and able to enjoy Christmas with your family. Have a blessed celebration!
We work on making gifts and choosing gifts with the children, and it seems to work pretty well that they understand that giving is a large part of what is going on. Well, Big understands that anyway, think Small may have a year or two to go yet
Sounds like a great Christmas was had all round
What a wonderful idea! Mine are still very little this year, but I think next year I’m going to take them to the discount store and let them pick out gifts for everyone. This year my 2 year old helped me make a wreath to hang on our door, it turned out so well I plan to make several next year for family.
That is really beautiful! Thanks for sharing that Ron. I will forward this to Ken who might be buying a Santa suit soon. Although the kids already have a perception of Santa as not dad so it could backfire. Anyway, thanks for sharing the story.
That can of peas was one of the best presents ever – and one of the most memorable.
This year, the present we got from the kids showed us that they pay attention to who we are, and what they chose was not a matter of cost or good impression.
JoVE: Even though I didn’t say so outright, what I have enjoyed the most over the years has been seeing the ongoing development of gift selection skills and how they feel when they perceive having made a good choice.
Carrie: Mine have said that I am the most difficult to buy for because I can buy anything I want. What they mean is that anything they can afford to buy, I can afford too. I make it more difficult for them by not giving them any suggestions or hints. Until recently, where the older 2 have been working, I have been providing them with the money to buy the gifts. If I suggest a gift then at a rudementary level they are not buying me a gift at all. And I think children are quite conscience of that. So, in leaving the choice to them, the choice itself is the gift.
Jax: Some of the nicest gifts I’ve received have been made by my children.
MC: One year we made boxes of treats to give out to neighbours and extended family. The children helped make most of the treats. It is a great way to involve them.
Kim: At first I felt awkward wearing the suit, but I think it will be a part of what we do for a few years. I enjoyed doing it this year.
Andrea: You’ll have to tell them about the wisk